Commenting...

…I love getting comments from people (even when random hugs from people I don’t know have almost made me cry recently!)…but I’ve realised I really don’t comment much on other people’s blogs…so my challenge for April (I know it’s still March but we’re going away at the weekend and I’ve got lots to do) will be to comment on as many blogs I read as possible (if I can think of something suitable to say) whenever I trail through my blog roll…

My sister is sending me mad, having got really grumpy at me and refused to speak to me for a fortnight when I told her I was pregnant (in an evening when I knew she would have the support of her husband) she’s now calling me every few days asking what would help morning sickness (am I really evil for being pleased that she was sick more yesterday than I ever was with the munchkin? I was only ever nauseous most days and sick twice in 9 months), can she borrow my bump belt now I need it no longer?

I’m still bleeding internittently and the last thing I want is to hear about her pregnancy. I’m fine with my pregnant friends round here, they’re all being wonderful and sensitive, but my sister just doesn’t seem to think? I’ve been tempted to call her and say just leave me alone for a bit, but I can’t think of a nice way to say it. Mr H has offered to have a word with her, but that doesn’t seem right either…..argh!

On another subject we managed to get the sick smell out of the munchkin’s carpet by liberally sprinkling it with bicarbonate of soda…thanks Mum for the old fashioned idea. She suggested that before I saw the lavender comments so I tried it first. I’ll try lavender next time around

Getting worse...

…the munchkin has been sick again, this time over the carpet at the bottom of the stairs….urgh! Fun day for me to come….not!

…my sister has just told me she’s 6 weeks pregnant. I’m really, really pleased for her, but kind of wishing she could have waited another week or so before telling me. She’s already had two scans to check the baby is in the right place and has another next week to try and find a heart beat. She was telling me what the scan had shown, her baby is at exactly the same stage as ours was when it died…

Ups and Downs

After a lovely weekend at my grans (Saturday night was the first night I have slept for 7 solid hours for weeks!) we went back for the second scan this morning.

As I expected there was no change. despite being sure of it it was still really hard when the lady doing the scan said that there was no change. We then had to head back to the EPU to decide what to do next, wait for things to happen naturally or book in for an ERPC. Since baby died about 4 weeks ago and nothing has happened yet we decided on an ERPC. If they have a bed for me when I ring at 8am tomorrow we’ll go in then. Mr H has booked the day off work to look after the munchkin, hopefully they’ll be able to be in with me some of the time, but I really don’t know. He took this morning off as well which was great. I don’t know how I’d have been if I’d been on my own.

I don’t react too well to general anaesthetics, I get very sick after them, so hopefully I’ll be early on the list for theatre, otherwise there’s a reasonable chance I’ll have to stay overnight (not ideal as MR H has important training on Wednesday).

I’ve been upping and ahhing over whether to ask Mum to come and stay for a couple of days, Mr H has too much on to be able to take much time off, he’s interviewing the students for industrial placements in his department one day this week as well as the training. I spoke to Mum this morning, she didn’t mention the possibility of coming, I don’t know what she’s got on at the moment, whether she’s busy or hasn’t thought of it.

One of the munchkin’s godmothers lives locally and has been here this afternoon to keep me company (she came bearing chocolates and a lovely scented candle for me), she’s said that if we need her after work for the rest of this week just to call which is fab.

I’m going to go now and put the munchkin to bed before packing a bag to take in with me tomorrow. Thanks again to those of you who left me the lovely messages.

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Update - I’ve spoken to Mum, after a lot of thought she’s going to come down tomorrow if I go in to hospital then. She was very dubious about coming (after a breakdown a year ago she’s found committing to things hard and needs time at home after being away fro a bit - she was staying with my gran last week so was hoping to have a quiet at home week this week), but having realised what a state I’m in she decided that she could do it after all. I’m so grateful. I’m realising quite how alone I am here, there’s no one (apart from the munchkin’s godmother) here that could help us in any way.

I hate hormones!

(though I suppose that if I didn’t have any I wouldn’t be in the state I’m now in…..any happy about)

It’s just that I’m spending so much time trying to dodge flying bouts of morning (read all day!) sickness that so far haven’t actually made me be sick, but made me so close and trying to snatch any rest I can as I’m so tired it’s untrue. I don’t remember feeling this rough last time. I was coping fine with teaching full time when pregnant with the munchkin, but now I can barely hang the washing out to dry with out wanting to spend the next hour lying down. Roll on 12/14 weeks when hopefully this will ease a bit.

I haven’t heard from my sister still, I really miss our chats, but she just doesn’t want to speak to me at the moment. I had a brief text to say that she and her husband had landed in Paris for their weekend away but nothing else. I hope she can come to terms with all this soon.

Well, I told her...

…and it was horrible. She’s devastated. She half expected it after talking to Mum on Sunday and getting the feeling that Mum was hiding something from her. I came off the phone in tears, she was so unhappy.

I just want my little sister to be happy, and there’s nothing any of us can do to help her. We can’t change our plans or put our lives on hold, we can’t wave a magic wand - ta-da - one baby, there’s absolutely nothing we can do. All the other girls on Mum’s side of the family seem to fall pregnant really easily, Mum fell with me and my sister within the first couple of months of trying, I discovered at the weekend that only one of my Mum’s siblings was actually planned (she’s one of 5!), my aunt fell pregnant on the pill, my cousin (a little younger than my sister) is expecting her third any day, all the others are no where near thinking of babies yet. When we can produce babies almost when we want to my sister is finding it so hard.

I just wish there was something, anything I could do for her.

What a week!

I was hoping to find time to blog before this, but no chance. I've been so busy! Tidying, cooking, cleaning, entertaining the rellies plus trying to keep the munchkin calm amid the chaos. Her baptism service was really nice, the vicar was lovely, everyone arrived and got home safely and lots of food was eaten. Thanks Carmelo for the idea of veg sticks and dips....they went down really well. The munchkin's cake was slightly stressful as it didn't rise much though it was very light and tasty, a bit of umming and ahing over how to decorate it and it went immediately....has given me a bit of a bug for cake decorating though.....will have to make another one soon....next excuse for a cake I can come up with is Valentines...hmmm....sorry sidetracking...

Somehow it didn't seem too crowded with 17 of us here on Sunday, we just seemed to spread out around the kitchen and living room. At least we knlow we can do it again should we need to.

We had a great night out with Mr H's family on Saturday while L babysat for us. It was really nice to get to know J's fiancee a bit better and to spend time with the family, we haven't had a get-together since Christmas over 2 years ago. We see my family a lot, but the distance betwen north scotland and the south west of England is a long way, we'll see them all again for J and S's wedding though in April.

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My challenge now is to keep the house as tidy as we made it for Sunday, managing ok so far (but have had Mum here to stay until this morning and she's helped a lot). I really hope I can do it, it's much nicer living in a tidy organised house rather than our usual piles of chaos.

Good intentions....

I started the year with good intentions for the diet and, thanks to PMT and a rotten cold, they've already gone a-stray. I've spent the weekend eating junk and more junk and lots of milk chocolate orange.....ooppss. I need to get myself back on track...I do want to lose some more weight before the munchkin's baptism on the 21st. Stressing about our families coming up for that isn't helping matters.

Having planned a nice dinner on at Saturday night for all those of our generation coming down (Mum and Dad are taking the grans out for dinner) Mr H's siblings had other plans. Despite me texting to see if they'd be up for a murder mystery a week ago we only found out last night that G doesn't fancy it so they all (D, G, J and S) decided they'd go to the pub instead! Thanks for telling me! Not to worry that I spent ages on Saturday wandering around Cambridge trying to find a shop that stocked the dinner party kits and then forked out for one, and that I'd been planning what to cook. My fantastic sister (I know I don't say that about her very often!) has now offered to baby-sit for us so that Mr H and I can go out with his family since we don't see them very often and the last time we were all together was over 2 years ago. I just wish that D&G had told us they didn't fancy a murder mystery and then we'd just have had a young ones dinner. Don't get me wrong it will be nice to go out with Mr H's family, I just wish they'd talked to us.

I still need to work out what we're doing for food after the baptism. Everyone is definately coming back here (hmmm...15 adults in our small house...) and we're having some form of buffet, but apart from that I have no idea. We still haven't finalise the cake....fruit or sponge? I don't eat fruit cake, but a fruit cake will go further than a sponge cake....decisions!

Anyway, this post has taken about 1 1/2 hours to write in between cooking up veggies for the munchkin, feeding her and putting her down for a nap and it's my turn to eat now. Bye!

Hello again!

Had a busy few weeks so blogging has been on the back burner....but hopefully now Christmas is over I'm back for a bit....but any one who reads regularly will know that I do come and go a lot so no promises about how long we'll be around for this time.....hopefully longer than last time, I love blogging and hate being so busy and tired I don't have time for a quick post.

I hope everyone had a good Christmas and managed to get some family/you time in there as well. After a lot of anticipation of a Christmas in Scotland with Mr H's sister and her husband (D and G) we ended up having a quiet one down here thanks to a bit of a break down in communications in Mr H's family (his brother, J, decided to try and organise it without finding out whether D and G were still free for us all to come up....ooppss!). It was nice so see the Christmas services at our church here, we've really settled in there now and are getting the munchkin baptised there in 3 weeks. We then headed up to see L and T for a few days as T turned 30 on Friday! L may be the youngest of all our siblings, but T is the oldest of us :-) They had a winter barbeque for all the family, it was great to see his parents and family again, the last time we saw them was at L & T's wedding in September.

We've now got a couple of quiet days before Mr H goes back to work on Tuesday (via the garage to sort out the suspension on the car which collapsed on Wednesday leaving us to go to L & T's by train). Hopefully we'll manage to get some couple time and a nice dinner or two in when the munchkin sleeps....

Hope everyone has a good NYE tonight....given the munchkin woke us for 45 minutes at 1:30am I suspect we won't manage to stay awake to see the new year in, but I hope you all have a good night. Bye!