Tuesday, March 27, 2007


I love this….just been reminded of it by a BBC news article….enjoy!



…I love getting comments from people (even when random hugs from people I don’t know have almost made me cry recently!)…but I’ve realised I really don’t comment much on other people’s blogs…so my challenge for April (I know it’s still March but we’re going away at the weekend and I’ve got lots to do) will be to comment on as many blogs I read as possible (if I can think of something suitable to say) whenever I trail through my blog roll…

My sister is sending me mad, having got really grumpy at me and refused to speak to me for a fortnight when I told her I was pregnant (in an evening when I knew she would have the support of her husband) she’s now calling me every few days asking what would help morning sickness (am I really evil for being pleased that she was sick more yesterday than I ever was with the munchkin? I was only ever nauseous most days and sick twice in 9 months), can she borrow my bump belt now I need it no longer?

I’m still bleeding internittently and the last thing I want is to hear about her pregnancy. I’m fine with my pregnant friends round here, they’re all being wonderful and sensitive, but my sister just doesn’t seem to think? I’ve been tempted to call her and say just leave me alone for a bit, but I can’t think of a nice way to say it. Mr H has offered to have a word with her, but that doesn’t seem right either…..argh!

On another subject we managed to get the sick smell out of the munchkin’s carpet by liberally sprinkling it with bicarbonate of soda…thanks Mum for the old fashioned idea. She suggested that before I saw the lavender comments so I tried it first. I’ll try lavender next time around

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Getting worse...

…the munchkin has been sick again, this time over the carpet at the bottom of the stairs….urgh! Fun day for me to come….not!

…my sister has just told me she’s 6 weeks pregnant. I’m really, really pleased for her, but kind of wishing she could have waited another week or so before telling me. She’s already had two scans to check the baby is in the right place and has another next week to try and find a heart beat. She was telling me what the scan had shown, her baby is at exactly the same stage as ours was when it died…


We were disturbed in the middle of the night by some odd noises from the munchkin. She settled herself back down fairly quickly so we weren’t too worried, but when I went into her room this morning to get her up I was met by a horrible smell.

The little darling had been sick in the night and then fallen back to sleep in it! It was completely embedded in her hair. Thankfully Mr H hadn’t left for work at that point so her was able to clean the cot, carpet and bedding (and toys!) while I bathed the munchkin. It was so meshed into her hair that I had to wash it twice to get the smell out.

She’s a little subdued this morning, but not too much, and has just gone down for a nap in the travel cot (her room smells too bad for her to sleep in there). I’m not sure what caused her to be poorly, she had her pneumococcal (sp?) jab last Tuesday so it could be that, otherwise I don’t know. She tried a little bit of our curry last night (unusually Mr H got home in time for us all to eat together), but she has had that before. I guess we’ll never know.

On a slight side note, if anyone has any bright ideas for getting the sick smell out of carpet I’d be really grateful for them!

Saturday, March 17, 2007

It's over

I seem to have spent most of the last week either in hospital or waiting for calls to say whether there was a bed for me or not.

Having not eaten anything since midnight on Monday night I called to see if there was a bed for me at 8am on Tuesday, nothing I had to wait for them to call me, they called me back at 2 to say still no bed, try again tomorrow.

Try again on Wednesday, nothing at 8, wait again, put the munchkin down for a nap at 10, was called at 10:30 to say we have a bed, will you come now please. We got to the hospital at 11, spent an hour waiting in a waiting room before seeing a nurse who gave me a gown and some oh so attractive surgical stockings. mum (who arrived at lunchtime on Tuesday) took the munchkin home at this point for lunch and another attempt at a nap. At about 12:30 we (there was another lady waiting for an ERPC) were taken down to a ward (surprisingly nice, individual en suite rooms).

I wasn’t seen by a doctor until about 3, all she did was put a canula in to give me some fluids (having not eaten since 10 the night before) and tell me that I had to wait and see the anaesthetist before I’d be able to go to theatre. For some reason she couldn’t get the cannula into the back of my hand, she gave up and used my elbow instead (trying to sleep when you usually curl up into a ball but you’ve got a cannula in your elbow is a challenge!). Eventually saw the anaesthetist at 6ish, he was the first person to ask me about any allergies. I’m allergic to most adhesives (even the supposedly hypoallergenic micropore gives me an itchy rash) and also mildly allergic to latex (only a mild dermal reaction). He asked me a bit about the latex, but didn’t seem too concerned.

Mr H, Mum and the munchkin appeared to say hello during evening visiting at 6:30, but couldn’t stay long as they needed to get the munchkin to bed.

However, at around 7:30 the surgeon appeared to say that I’d be put at the top of Thursday’s list for surgery so they could have a completely clean theatre for me due to not wanting to take any chances with the latex. I’ve never had that much of a reaction so I was rather surprised but glad to be given more of an idea rather than just sitting waiting.

After 21 hours of not eating the Heinz tomato soup I was given for dinner (all there was on the ward at 8pm) was one of the nicest things ever! It was frustrating though, having sat on a bed all afternoon waiting to be sent to theatre only to be told actually it’ll be tomorrow.

I was woken at 6 on Thursday by the nurse doing her observation round (I can’t understand why they need to do it quite so early, especially when the evening round is between 10 and 11pm!) and was given another bag of fluids through the cannula. They didn’t start prepping me for theatre until 9 so the morning seemed to drag. I was taken down to theatre at 10 and got back to the ward at about 11:45. I was told at this point that hopefully I’d be able to go home at 4….

After a lunch of very soggy tuna sandwiches, which I somehow managed to keep down (the first time I’ve ever had a general anaesthetic and been able to eat afterwards with out being sick and needing a nice injection of anti-emetics in my bottom!), Mum and the munchkin came into afternoon visiting hoping to be able to take me home with them. However, that was not to be, the doctor came in a said that because of the possible latex risk I’d need to stay in overnight. I was not particularly happy having been told one thing, and then another. I could understand in a way why they said it, but still, after all the delays I just wanted to get home and sleep in my own bed.

I was finally discharged at 9:30 yesterday after a very short nights sleep. The nurses didn’t do the evening drug round and observations until 11pm and then woke me at 6 for the morning obs, even on a good day I’m a person who needs 8 hours sleep and I was very tired after the anaesthetic.

I’m really glad I’ve had the surgery now and that the pregnancy is over. We can now try and move ourselves on from it. We’ve been advised to wait 3 months before trying for another baby, but at the moment it’s a long way from my mind. It’s going to take a bit for me to feel better after all this. I’m still a bit emotional at times, and am very tired. Maybe in 3 months we’ll want to try again, but maybe a bit longer, it’s too early to say really.

Monday, March 12, 2007

Ups and Downs

After a lovely weekend at my grans (Saturday night was the first night I have slept for 7 solid hours for weeks!) we went back for the second scan this morning.

As I expected there was no change. despite being sure of it it was still really hard when the lady doing the scan said that there was no change. We then had to head back to the EPU to decide what to do next, wait for things to happen naturally or book in for an ERPC. Since baby died about 4 weeks ago and nothing has happened yet we decided on an ERPC. If they have a bed for me when I ring at 8am tomorrow we’ll go in then. Mr H has booked the day off work to look after the munchkin, hopefully they’ll be able to be in with me some of the time, but I really don’t know. He took this morning off as well which was great. I don’t know how I’d have been if I’d been on my own.

I don’t react too well to general anaesthetics, I get very sick after them, so hopefully I’ll be early on the list for theatre, otherwise there’s a reasonable chance I’ll have to stay overnight (not ideal as MR H has important training on Wednesday).

I’ve been upping and ahhing over whether to ask Mum to come and stay for a couple of days, Mr H has too much on to be able to take much time off, he’s interviewing the students for industrial placements in his department one day this week as well as the training. I spoke to Mum this morning, she didn’t mention the possibility of coming, I don’t know what she’s got on at the moment, whether she’s busy or hasn’t thought of it.

One of the munchkin’s godmothers lives locally and has been here this afternoon to keep me company (she came bearing chocolates and a lovely scented candle for me), she’s said that if we need her after work for the rest of this week just to call which is fab.

I’m going to go now and put the munchkin to bed before packing a bag to take in with me tomorrow. Thanks again to those of you who left me the lovely messages.


Update - I’ve spoken to Mum, after a lot of thought she’s going to come down tomorrow if I go in to hospital then. She was very dubious about coming (after a breakdown a year ago she’s found committing to things hard and needs time at home after being away fro a bit - she was staying with my gran last week so was hoping to have a quiet at home week this week), but having realised what a state I’m in she decided that she could do it after all. I’m so grateful. I’m realising quite how alone I am here, there’s no one (apart from the munchkin’s godmother) here that could help us in any way.

Thursday, March 08, 2007


to everyone who’s commented lately. It’s astonishing to think that there are people thinking of us that we’ve never actually met. I had a little cry when I read some yesterday. My first tears for the baby except that first Tuesday.

We’re going to my grans for a long weekend this afternoon, hopefully the quiet time and rest (if the munchkin will let us!) will help us get our heads together a bit more.

Hope you all have a good weekend. Thanks again. Bye!

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Muddling along...

It’s been a funny week since I last posted. I’m trying not to dwell too much on the miscarriage (I’m sure that baby has died) but still remembering that I have to go back to the hospital on Monday to have another scan. The munchkin has been funny, there’s been times she’s just been cuddly and there and other times when she’s been really demanding and I can’t seem to make her happy. We’ve been out somewhere everyday to keep busy and get out of the house for a bit which has helped a bit, but I seem to being seeing pregnant women everywhere. It doesn’t help that three of my friends at baby group are expecting, two due next month and the other is about 11 weeks. It’ll be easier once we know and can move on. Mr H has already been talking about us trying again in a couple of months, I think I’d rather wait a bit first. It surprised me as he wasn’t sure about this pregnancy anyway, we’ll have to see how we feel as time goes on.

Another problem with all the worry is it’s affecting my sleep. I’m waking up more tired than when I went to bed, dreaming lots and waking lots. I’ve been trying to sleep during the day when the munchkin does, but I’m not really one for sleeping in the day. Hopefully a change of scene at my grans at the weekend will help. We’ll see….